their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
