there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
