Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
50% drunk capacity currently
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
