his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
