I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize