I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
