So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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