Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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