ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
