I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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