He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
