I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
