I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
