so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
