He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
