I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
