There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
