found the other keg... it's in the tree
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
