Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
