she smelled like a LAN party
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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