his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
