we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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