you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize