I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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