Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
