It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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