i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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