i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My first STD was from a foam party
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
