Christians are straight up FREAKS
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize