I wish I could teleport
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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