You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
