the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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