A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
its not stalking. its research.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
