i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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