She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
