Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your dad touched me again.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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