and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
