a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
