I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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