I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
