"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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