I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
