I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
