Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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