thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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