wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
