the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize