so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
