I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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