I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
