Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i can't believe i had my finger in that
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize