Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
