Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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