What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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