Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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