Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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