You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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