k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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