I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize