Where is the hickey?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
