I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
