it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
