i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
