he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
